Movie Review: Terminator Genisys

One of the neat things about my new home is that I live near a second run theatre. That's right, the "dollar cinema" where movies that aren't on the bigger screens are only a dollar. It's a bit run down but IT'S A DOLLAR. I remember going to the dollar show as a kid and getting to watch two or three movies.

Anyway, I got to see TERMINATOR GENISYS and only paid a dollar. I got my money's worth.

TERMINATOR GENISYS feels like a couple of movie executives were in a dim room doing a ton of blow and one says to the other, "Dude, what if Kyle Reese goes back in time and Sarah Connor tell him 'Come with me if you want to live'!"*

If you haven't seen the trailer that spoils the movie's big reveal, don't worry, I'm not going to mention it. Instead, here's a brief summary of this movie's attempt at a plot/

This time around a terminator is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor when she was young, so she winds up growing up to be a warrior by the time of the first TERMINATOR movie. And she keeps her terminator around like a pet, calling him Pops. This is such a horrible, radical shift in characterization for Sarah. Her original arc is from a scared, helpless girl to a capable, tough as nails woman, training her son to be a leader. Now she's just supposed to be a badass out of the gate and to be honest it doesn't play well.

Kyle shows up and pretty much  it's T2, only this time around Kyle is Sarah, Sarah is John, and the terminator is still a terminator. Kyle doesn't trust it, Sarah does and it's programmed to obey her, oh and there's a T-1000 around here somewhere hunting them. It's like Hollywood has decided that every franchise needs the same reboot framework as STAR TREK. The original timeline is gone, welcome to the future, baby! Or past. Or...whatever.

And then they time travel to 2017 to stop Skynet from coming on line at the last minute. That's fucking stupid. YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TO JUST BEFORE IT COMES ONLINE? Or just not time travel and take care of things in the passing years. You know, like the "Sarah Connor Chronicles" was doing a great job of. But that Sarah is gone, shit.

However, if you turn off your brain and remember that you only paid a dollar it's a spectacle of lights and noise. And a little fun, in that summer blockbuster way. Now I'm not recommending you rush out and see it. Or even watch it on purpose. But if it's raining outside and it's GENISYS or some Z-Grade Mockbuster knock-off on Netflix, try GENISYS.

But don't pay more than $1.


* Yes, Birth.Movies.Death. came to the same conclusion I did, but I promise I didn't rip them off. This time.